Transcending Boundaries – Day 2

12 Nov

Goodness, I am exhausted.  I slept horribly.  Tossed and turned and woke up again and again. I am no good at sharing a bed. Also, apparently, I snore, but it is “tiny, adorable snoring”, according to MH. Argh…Mortifying!

I attended two workshops in the morning and one in the evening.  The first one was centered around the concepts of virginity, which are entirely dependent on individual concepts of sex acts and what they mean.  The second one was about navigating cisgender/transgender relationships.  I learned a lot from each of them. Thankfully, I had a block of about two hours where there weren’t any workshops or presenters that really jumped out at me.  I took the opportunity to go back to the hotel and take a hugely refreshing nap before coming back at 5pm for Widow Centauri’s presentation on gender variant language, which was quite the roller coaster. I’m very interested in the formation of language, but I was uncomfortable with the way the presenter approached the material and the interactions between her and the people attending the workshop.

At lunchtime, Kate Bornstein delivered the keynote address while we all enjoyed the provided pasta buffet. Mmmmmm, carbs. The food was yummy and Kate was positively incredible. She is so inspiring and full of both candor and warm fuzzies. And..cuss words, which may make her even more awesome. She spoke about what lies beyond the binary.  Binary meaning, male/female, gay/straight, black/white, etc. Catering to binary systems perpetuates hierarchies that only serve to oppress groups and individuals who don’t quite fit, encouraging a completely unnecessary sense of otherness. So…what lies beyond the binary?

“YOU do,” says Kate. We, the sex positive, the gender benders, the kinksters, the pansexual, the polyamorous…All of us. You name it. We break the binary system. And it should be broken, deconstructed in the interest of a “politic of love”, in the interest of liberating sex from the clutches of a system that “demonizes, silences, and invisiblizes” it.

So, “fuck morality, fuck the law, fuck common wisdom.”  Just “do good”.


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