Blood, Sweat, and Tears

12 May

Hello, readers.

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As you may know, I’m working my ass off on getting healthy!

I’ve just started Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, which is tough as nails and makes me feel like I’m gonna die. I’m also training for a 5K and running three times a week. Sometimes, I’ll get a flash of how far I’ve come and how hard it has been and how hard it’s going to be to carry on, get more intense, and get to where I really want to be. Fit, fine, and healthy. In the midst of the workout, with Jillian barking encouragement at me or with the feel of my feet pounding the pavement and the wind in my face…I cry.

I am NOT a big crier to begin with. I hate to cry. But there’s something almost cathartic about pushing myself so hard. For a kinkster, there’s something reminiscent of a terribly challenging impact scene. Of saying, “I can’t take anymore!” and then being asked, “Can you take three more for me?” You steel yourself, you grit your teeth, you murmur a “Yes, Sir”, and you fucking take it. And you love it. Deep down in your steaming guts, you love it.

I missed that feeling. And now I can almost taste it again.

But if anyone still wants to beat the stuffin’ outta me…Well. You know how to reach me.

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