Teaching Workshops

16 Mar

Hi, everybody! Apologies, once again, for the recent absence. Things have been ridiculously busy in my world, what with a new job in an after-school program, hunting for a better job, doing coursework, attending class, going to meetings for the 2012 Careers in Sexuality Conference Committee (of which I am a member).

On top of all that, my career as an independent sexuality educator is slowly starting to get off the ground. A couple weeks ago, I taught a Kink 101 workshop for my classmates. I’m planning to hold another soon, as there were some people who were unable to attend. I was at a party last weekend and had a chat with my friend, A, who helps to run the educational classes at our local fetish shops. She said she was looking for someone to do workshops on “female masturbation” and handjobs. In other words…one will be about masturbation for people with pussies and one will be about handjobs for people with penises. Guess who’s taking the reins?

Yes, that would be me 😀 I’m so excited! But I’m looking for some input. As cunt-owning masturbators and as penis owners who have received handjobs (from yourself or someone else), what would you like to learn if you were to attend or what would you most want other people to know about masturbation in your world? How can I make this a wonderful experience for attendees?

Please post comments here or shoot me an e-mail at therainydayreview@gmail.com. If you are in the Philadelphia area and interested in attending the workshops, get in touch, and I will happily get you the information 🙂

Wordless Wednesday

14 Mar

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Second Class Citizens

1 Mar

Check out this inspiring piece of film spreading the word about a new documentary in the works.  It is called Second Class Citizens.

Directly from the website:

“A second class citizen is defined as: a person whose rights and opportunities are treated as less important than those of other people in the same society. There are many areas in which gays, lesbians, & bisexuals do not have the same rights & opportunities as others in society. We must change this now.

I want to make a documentary that encompasses all areas in which we are discriminated against. The general population is not aware that discrimination against the gay community goes beyond marriage & bullying. There is far too much hate directed towards our community and I want to capture that hate on camera. In addition, I want to explore where this hate comes from, why it continues to exist, and what we must do to get rid of it. A better solution is needed because the solution we have right now isn’t working fast enough.

I am not a second class citizen. You are not a second class citizen. Right now, the laws in place (and lack thereof) say that we are. Let’s change that.”

The film will cover topics such as marriage, adoption, education, religion, employment, bullying, housing, homelessness, etc.  I sent a message to the creator, Ryan  James Yezak, to ask if queer- and trans-identified folks will also be included in his film.  I realize that gender identity and sexual orientation are mutually exclusive, but we are all facing many of the same forms of discrimination and difficulty and we are all fighting the same battle for rights and acceptance. I’ll let you ll know if I hear back!

If you would like to donate to help make this documentary a reality, click here.

On Safewords

21 Feb

I started a new tutoring job today. Although commuting is a bit of a pain in the ass, I really appreciate the quiet time to myself. My brain works in high gear while I make the familiar drive to campus, lulled into a meditative state by the white noise of the air-rushing, tire-whirring, thrumming sounds of the road. Today, I was thinking about safewords.

Safewords are specific, prearranged words or signals used in BDSM or kink communities and relationships, during sexual and sensual activity, to express that something is not going quite right. Some partners have individual safewords tailored to their relationship. The word can be anything, so long as it is simple, understood, and uncommon for the bedroom. For example…Umbrella, poodle, jello. (Unless you’re somehow involving an umbrella, a poodle, and jello in your sex play, in which case…more power to ya.)

The point of a safeword is that, sometimes, we want to play with activities that might push our boundaries. We may struggle, squirm, kick, cuss, and scream. We may say “You evil bastard, that fucking hurts!” or “No! Please! Stop!” when we really mean “That feels so good…More, please?” or “Fuck yes, keep going!” Safewords are in place so that we know for damn sure that something is up, even when we’re exploring boundaries and pushing limits and getting lost in those sweet, delicious recesses of our minds and bodies.

The main thing on my mind during my drive today was…why don’t we ALL use safewords, regardless of whether we are engaging in kink-related activities? Why aren’t safewords just a regularly accepted component of sexual relationships, especially ones that are in the beginning stages of exploration? They would really come in handy.

You could say “red” when your partner suddenly attempts to sneak a finger in the back door without knocking first. An immediate pause and a discussion would follow. Your partner might learn that the ass does not lubricate itself, so it needs a little artificial assistance, or your partner might learn that you ONLY use the back door as an exit, not an entrance. You could say “yellow” when your partner is going to town fingering you, but is not quiiiite jamming away at the right angle. A slight slow down, a quietly murmured instruction, a little adjustment, and the problem may be solved. Safewords ease the awkwardness of having to shout out, “WOAH. Slow the fuck down and curl your fingers a little more!” They help to make adjustments without truly breaking the flow of the activity.

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I think I’m going to become an advocate for expanding the use of safewords beyond the realm of kink. Safewords for all!

President’s Day Sale at Tantus

20 Feb

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It’s President’s Day!  Woohoo! Tantus, an adult toy company that I absolutely adore, is having a 20% off sale (Promo code: PREZ20)!  How nice of them!

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If you don’t own any Tantus toys…well, you should.  They’re awesome.  The toys themselves are beautifully designed, high quality, and deeply enjoyable to use, with discreet packaging, superb customer service, and a commitment to being both healthy for the human body and healthy for the planet.

Also, random fact. Did you know there are a number of books on the sex lives of the presidents?  One Nation Under Sex, for example. Definitely going to have to check that one out.

Wonderful Wood

19 Feb

Hand crafted toys from Holzdildo in Germany.

Recently, I was asked about the appeal of wooden sex toys.  I love wood toys, though I also own glass and metal toys. Here’s my reasoning.

1) They’re beautiful! They’re silky smooth, curvy, and sensual. That’s appealing to me and, often, arousing.

2) They’re lightweight, especially compared to the heft of glass and metal.

3) They feel more warm and familiar to me, as opposed to the cold sterility of glass and metal.

4) They’re environmentally- and body-friendly. Wooden toys are often sustainably-farmed, chemical-free, and all-natural.

I’d also like to debunk any concerns that people may have about splinters and “hidey nooks” that might injure the user or hang onto bodily fluids or germs.

The wooden toys I own are all by NobEssence, so I can’t say that I know much about other brands, but I can certainly vouch for NobEssence. Their products are sanded and polished totally smooth and utterly flawless. They use a state-of-the-art sealant that is bio-compatible, hypoallergenic, and completely waterproof, “[stemming] from years of meticulous research and development and meet USP Class IV and VI Medical Standards. According to NobEssence, “when carved wood comes into contact with moisture, it absorbs those fluids and becomes rough, bumpy and even splintery. Most wood sealants considered ‘food safe’ will break down or dissolve over time, so we spent a long time searching for a sealant to make our wood waterproof and body safe.”

You should be careful not to damage the surface by dropping it or knocking it against other hard surfaces. You shouldn’t boil it or expose it to high temperatures in a dishwasher, but you can wash it with warm water and non-abrasive soap, soak it for ten minutes in a 10% bleach solution, or wipe it down with anti-bacterial/microbial cleaner, such as alcohol, bleach, peroxide, etc. If you do suspect the toy has been damaged, you can test the integrity of the finish by “immersing it in water for a few seconds and removing to inspect. If the area in question darkens in response to water AND when wiped remains damp when the surrounding area is dry”, then you have damage.

In short, if you follow directions and take proper care of your toy, you shouldn’t encounter any problems. The philosophy with wood toys is the same as with glass. If you notice that your glass toy has a chip or a crack, you should no longer use it. The same goes for wood toys. Over time, nearly any material or item may have health and safety issues. It’s a matter of risk management and taking good care of your toys.

And there you have it!

Wordless Wednesday

16 Feb

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